As you may or may not know, I hate politics. I hate politicians, because for me (and I’m only speaking for myself so please don’t get offended) a few bad apples CAN spoil the whole bunch. Many of our leaders have left a sour taste in my mouth and they are supposed to represent us. I find myself thinking, I agree with this issue from the left and with that issue from the right, but they all hate each other so there will never be a happy medium. Thick-skulled knuckleheads will never understand the meaning of the word, moderation. Maybe meet in the middle? I make my kids compromise, when our government will not. WTF? Really?
Furthermore, I would like to say that I find myself not even being able to watch the news. This channel is too far right and that other channel is too far left, so do I turn it off? Fuck no! I pay for cable with hard earned dollars and cents and shouldn’t feel like I have to click it off just because there are too many ding-a-lings on T.V. So when I’m wondering about the world and what’s going on with it, I don’t watch the news. I don’t look to some anchor (with the exception of Ron Burgundy) for the answers to my problems. I’ll tell you what I do. I turn on Full House. Uncle Jesse always has all the answers and that my friends is why I would like to personally nominate John Stamos for President 2016!
Let me expand on this notion. I think you may be surprised that you agree. Everytime the Full House gang had a problem, from boyfriends, to drinking, to teddy bears, Uncle Jesse would sit them down in a calm and firm manner. Soft music would fill the room and he would look into their eyes with that delicious and and sinful smolder. He would know exactly what to say and how to deliver it with a passion that can be felt all over your body. Not to mention, he would always find a way to bring compromise. He would usually end the disputes with a hug and a kiss. Picture this:
What should the government do about healthcare?
Soft music, sweet words, kiss from John Stamos. Hell Yes.
What about illegal immigration?
John Stamos gets out his guitar sings a gentle lullaby and kisses you goodnight. Oh God Please!
Let’s get serious about the debt ceiling. What can we do to fix social security?
John Stamos stands at a podium and licks his lips while we watch his beautiful skin, hair, and eyes glisten in the lighting. Then, a kiss. Fuck yeah baby!
Think about it, this guy can make yogurt sexy. He played a smoking hot doctor on ER flawlessly. He’s rocked the hottest mullet in history. He is without limits. He gets better with age. There is NOTHING wrong with this man. With all of these politicians yapping like dogs at each other and nothing getting done, it’s time to take a stand. I stand with John Stamos, even though I’d rather sit on his face. I have absolutely no idea what his political beliefs are, and quite frankly, I don’t care. He’s a tasty chunk of man meat and I want it in my life. Lead me John. Tell me what to do. Make laws and then enforce them.
Look at it this way, we are all going to get screwed by the government anyway, wouldn’t you rather get screwed by John Stamos? I would. I’m going to go make some campaign signs now, with poster boards and my Sharpie collection. I haven’t yet informed John about this, but I’m sure being the absolute perfect person that he is, he’ll proudly represent us from the front or from the back, or which ever way we like it. Please join my campaign by spreading the word. You can make a difference. I’m still working out a few kinks, but if he will return my calls, we can get the ball rolling here. We’ve got two years to get this campaign ready, every minute counts. He simply needs to accept my nomination and upon his win for presidency, I will proudly serve in his cabinet, or in his shower.
Thank you for your support.
Stand With Stamos 2016!
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