OMG! Acronyms Made Me a Pervert

I admit that I am not the most tech savvy or cool person on the planet. I have repeatedly seen acronyms all over my text messages and Facebook, but I never had a clue what they meant. So being a problem solver, I tried to figure them out on my own. Once I finally gave up and Googled them, I felt like a total douchey pervert. Here’s why…


Okay, so I thought everyone just really loved the crap out me. Lots of Love was being sent to me all the time. I was kind of disappointed to find out that they were just laughing out loud. So, I ate worms.


Licking my Aunt’s Ovaries??? That’s honestly sick and I felt really stupid when I learned it was laugh my ass off. I put every word together and that’s all I could think of.


Honestly, this one confused me the most. I would see ladies writing this and I thought (naturally) that it meant Suck My D*ck Hard…I guess my mind was in the gutter. Shaking my damn head…really?


Rotten Florida? What is so rotten about Florida? I’ve always thought it was a lovely place. Oh, rolling on the floor laughing!…I get it now.


Darn pimple! I really saw this and thought, man…just try some concealer or a little ProActive. I wouldn’t blast it all over social media. Geez…Damn near pissed my pants laughing.


Again, something nasty came to mind: F*ck hole. Just an innocent for crying out loud was turned into trashy-potty words by my sick and warped brain.


Great, you hop on our young adults. Get your head out of your ass.


Kansas City Company? Oh, Keep Calm Carry On. I never did understand this crap. I have never been calm, but I do carry on. Hell, I’m a mom, so if I didn’t, everyone in my house would live in filth and they would starve.


Be The Winner. How inspirational, I thought. What kind words, I thought. Oh, by the way


Antibacterial Wipes. My OCD can really turn anything into antibacterial wipes. Ain’t no thing but a chicken wing.


I saw this for months, never realizing it was an acronym. I thought it meant hello in a different language, maybe? A lovely blend of yellow and orange? Then I thought, maybe it is an acronym! Maybe it means, you’re on Lexapro only? Oh crap, You Only Live Once! Ah-ha! Of course!


This always makes me think, to be determined, but that would be TBD, so…no. Two big testicles? Tom Brady’s Tits? Oh yes, the faded pictures mean its Throw Back Thursday. Got it!


Oh crap, well that one is just a hoo-ha doctor. No hidden meanings there.


I say, have a good day, and you respond with, touch yourself? No I will not! How rude! Well, I came to find out later that people were just saying thank you. I’m a total scuzzy perv.

Yes, it’s true. I am lagging a little in the technology/slang/social media crap. I had to Google all of these things when I finally decided once and for all I was going to decipher what my friends were saying. However, I actually kind of like some of my meanings better. With that in mind, TY and have a great day!

Share if you like! If you don’t like this post then, WTF? (that means Where’s the Fun, right) 😉

Check out The Vada Diaries: Short Stories and Confessions of a Crazy Mother free on Kindle April 17-19th





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