1. Give them a small shovel and tell them they can dig their way to China. This one is a must!
2. If they can swim, throw pennies in the pool and tell them to go and find them and bring them back to you. Rinse. Repeat.
3. Make mandatory thirty minutes of quiet reading time in their room per day. They think this is to sharpen their reading skills, (and it is) but it will also give you a half-hour of peace and quiet.
4. Tell them to pick weeds and that they’ll get a penny for each weed they dig up. *Note that this is only if your yard is looking rough and keep in mind that you’re technically teaching your kids to sell weed.
5. Let them water the grass with Solo cups full of water or let them use water guns. You sit on the porch and read, I mean…supervise.
6. Teach them how to make prank phone calls…to their grandparents.
7. Tell them to search the block for rocks shaped like a butt. If you have boys, you will end up with hours of entertainment…and tons of rocks that actually look like butts.
8. Give them old tupperware and plastic spoons and let them make mudpies. They are just going to jump in the pool later and you know your tupperware spills out of your cabinet everytime you open the door, so let’s kill two birds with one stone here.
9. Teach them how to make you breakfast in bed. They get up so effing early anyway, so you may as well benefit from it.
10. Fill up a small plastic swimming pool with soapy water and have them wash toys. You know some of those old Legos have some funky e-coli hanging out in there somewhere.
11. Turn on Full House reruns. They get a wholesome family program and you get…John Stamos!
12. Drink! Get in the car and drive to Sonic for Happy Hour. Be careful though, I once had an early reader asking me where the “happy whore” was. I looked all around for a smiling gal in fishnets and heels, only to find out he was reading the sign.
13. Teach them “light as a feather, stiff as a board.” You know that they will have an awesome time finding themselves floating in mid-air, just like we did, right???
14. Teach them to play poker. I’m not kidding. It’s a game of strategy and they will be quiet and seated for long periods of time. Plus, it will motivate them to get those chores done. Gotta have cold hard cash to buy into the game. One more benefit to this, is that it will make your kid a total badass. Sorry…it’s true.
Summer is here and there isn’t a damn thing we can do to stop it. Unless your kids are Phineus and Ferb, it can be tough to keep them busy! Hope this helped a little bit.
Please share this if you like it. There are lots of little buttons down there! Have a great summer 🙂