I Can’t Be The Only One

Some days, I literally feel like I am going crazy. I wonder if I can make it through another day. Then, I feel guilty for feeling this way. Am I the only one who does crap like this? Am I the only one who is losing it?

I can’t be the only one that wants to scream “TALK AMONGST YOUR GODDAM SELVES!” when members at the family party are watching (staring) in horrified silence as my kid throws a ridiculous whopping fit.

I can’t be the only one who crosses my fingers that my own strep throat test comes back positive so that I can be quarantined for 24 hours until the antibiotics kick in.

I can’t be the only one who simply cannot answer the phone at times because the noise level in my house is just plain embarrassing.

I can’t be the only one who has to wear big sunglasses to hide the fact that I just got done crying my eyes out because I’m so freaking overwhelmed.

meltdowns

I can’t be the only one who has to try and not laugh when my toddler drops something and then says, “oh shit!” even though I feel the mom fail alarm going off in my head.

I can’t be the only one who sometimes wants to call my mama and have her come and make everything alright like she did when I was a little girl.

I can’t be the only one who feels like when it comes to parenting, I have no idea what the hell I am doing.

I can’t be the only one who wants to put my children in a bubble so that I can protect them from everything, even though I know logically that I can’t.

I can’t be the only one who drives down the road with my kids safely buckled in the backseat of the minivan listening to loud music and daydreaming about literally swinging from a chandelier while drinking champagne and wearing a silver tutu, because I need a break so damn bad that I’d go wild if I ever got one.

I can’t be the only one who mentally tells my kids to shut the hell up.

I can’t be the only one who feels guilty if I let my kids spend way too much time on the XBOX and i-pad and television because it’s the only way I can get anything done.

I can’t be the only one who feels like I nag my husband all the freaking time, even though he needs what I refer to as, “guidance.”

I can’t be the only one who carries toy cars, diapers and lip gloss around in my purse all laying on top of finely crushed animal crackers.

I can’t be the only one who is ready for bed at 3 p.m. every.single.day.

I can’t be the only one who feels alone.

I sometimes honestly feel like I am the only one who can’t get it right. When I see that family out at a restaurant and their children AREN’T acting like maniacs, or I see people’s pictures on Facebook where everyone is smiling and no one is bleeding…I can’t help but question what the hell I’m doing wrong. Why do I feel like a lesser mother? It can be a very lonely place. That’s why once in a while, I do have to call my mom and ask her to come over and help me feel better. My husband has to help me too. I have to stay in touch with other moms, even the ones who seem to have all their shit together. This is why I read “mom blogs” and this is also EXACTLY why I write them. We have to stick together. I will admit that I need support. I think the saying, “it takes a village,” does not only apply to children, but to moms as well. Look, Carol Brady had Alice. The Jetson’s had Rosie. Even on Full House it took two ass clowns, a smokin’ hot man sent straight from the Greek Gods (Uncle Jesse), and an Aunt Becky to raise those girls, remember that shit? I may not ever figure all this out. I may not have a single picture with all my kids looking at the camera, or a single day without a meltdown, but with the support that I lean on to get me through, I will do this. But I won’t do it alone. I just can’t be the only one.

As always…share if you like or more so, if you relate. Thanks a million!

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14 thoughts on “I Can’t Be The Only One

  1. I am only 8 months into this Mommy thing and I can check off most of the boxes next to your list. I miss the village, too. Winter is completely overwhelming to me. Let’s get together sometime and let our boys run wild (or crawl or scoot but my little love cannot do any of those). Carrie B.

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  2. You are most def not alone! Thanks for putting yourself out there to help other moms feel better. I am writing this as my kids zone out to Mickey Mouse for the 4th time today. 😉

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  3. I was a single mom at 18 years old and she is 21 now. I didn’t kill her one time. I have felt and still sometimes feel, the same exact ways you are feeling. I feel like I failed her by sheltering her so much and also like I didn’t do enough, all at the same time. You get that tutu and swing from anything you want. You deserve it. You have the hardest job in the whole wide world! You aren’t alone. xoxo

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    • They do. You are absolutely right. Depending on the day…it could be different response. LOL! But thank you for saying that. And I’m so sorry for the late reply. I’ve been out of town and wp on the mobile is tricky for me. 🙂

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  4. OMG… I am so glad that I stumbled across this blog! I love it! This is my life everyday!! I have a 3 year old son and also a 7 month old son. They are incredibly busy and exhausting but they are the cutest and sweetest kids ever!

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    • I’m so glad to have you! Busy…check Exhausting…check. Cute and Sweet…Check. You got it all ! 🙂 Sorry I’m late to reply. I have been out of town this weekend. Anyways, stay in touch! I’m glad you can relate! Those are fun ages. I remember when my oldest two were that age. I was literally walking in my sleep! LOL!

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