It happens every year about this time. And it happens to a lot of us. We begin to think of all the ways we can be less of an asshole in the upcoming year and all the changes we are going to make as soon as January 1st rolls around. In other words, we start to make our New Year’s Resolutions. And let’s be honest. Many of us wait to follow through with them until January 2nd, because the 1st is technically still a holiday and we tend to need something greasy that day. But not this year. Not this year at all. I’m starting today. Here’s why:
If I wait until January 2nd for the healthy diet I’m planning on starting, I’m basically telling myself to eat as much unhealthy shit as possible while I can. I’ll likely overdo it and by January 2nd, my pants may not fit anymore and I’ll just wanna go back and wire my stupid ugly hungry jaws shut. So I’m starting today. I’m going to eat less of everything that is delicious and more green things that taste like they are green. Bring it on.
I’m going to get organized. I’m going to take the 497 papers scattered on the counter from the kids’ school and find a spot for them. SO much paperwork! Every piece of schoolwork doesn’t need to be kept, right? I need to follow the advice of Queen Elsa of Arendale and Let It Go. With all of this clutter, a girl could accidentally flip the fuck out and light it all on fire, right in the middle of the kitchen because she just can’t look at it anymore. That could very well happen and it’s dangerous, so why wait until January and risk it? I’m doing it today.
I’m going to spend more time with family and friends. I mean hell, why wait? The whole “we need to get together soon” thing is all fun and games until you are walking out to get your mail and you get hit by a bus. Or maybe even one of Kim Jung Un’s bottle rockets. A lot can happen between now and January 2nd so why put a resolution like that off?
I’m going to play more with my kids. Like actually PLAY. Board games, basketball, hell…even video games as long as I’m playing it counts, right? We get into such a routine that we sometimes forget to have fun. That freaking sucks! And look, they are growing up every day. And every day is an opportunity to NOT turn them into serial killers. I can’t waste any more time. Someone get out the Monopoly for the love of god!
I’m going to take better care of myself. Not just physically, but mentally. Less wine, more yoga. Less Netflix, more walks. There’s a million things we have to do for Christmas. There’s the gajillion gifts, the parties, the decorations, the cooking, the slamming your head against the wall while singing Jingle Bells with tears running down your face because you are overwhelmed, you just burnt the cookies, and you are trying to get Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” out of your head because they play that freaking song at every damn store in town. So yes, I need a clear head to handle this so I’m working on mental health. And just a reminder I said LESS wine, not NO wine.
When all is said and done, I never really did understand why waiting until the New Year to make your life better made sense. Why not start now? A healthier, less cluttered lifestyle wearing pants that fit while being surrounded by family and friends with less serial killers in the making and kitchen fires can’t be a bad thing. So I’m starting today.
what changes (if any) are you making to become less of an asshole this year? Feel free to leave a comment.