Antibacterial Wipes…What Up With That? A Beautiful Poem, by Kristen Lynn

I use you day and use you night

And still my bathrooms are not right

You’re good for wiping off the piss

But stupid wipes, please tell me this

My kids are coughing, we are sick

Why aren’t you working? You dumb prick

I wipe the door knobs and the rails

Yet all I get are epic fails

Why waste my money on your lies?

My baby coughs all night and cries

Don’t give me shit about the season

I know its not the only reason

Ninety-nine percent of germs

That one percent could give us worms

So fuck yourselves you stupid wipes

My kids are croupy down their pipes

I’m gonna throw you in the trash

I’ll save all of my hard earned cash

From this day on, my house will stink

My walls may be the color pink

The next few days, I will be fillin’

Prescriptions of amoxicillin

I’ll scrub my counters and my walls

Spread pinky mixture down the halls

Compared to you, this should work well

You’ve been replaced, now GO TO HELL!